when the flu really means the flu

I really hate when people who have the common cold call it the "flu". Let me, even in my current state of misery clarify the difference for people who may not know. First off, lets start with the Body Aches, someone who has the cold, may feel a little achy, a little more tired, but with the Flu you feel like you have been run over by a Mack truck, every muscle feels like its been strung through a wringer, like a million tiny hyper active kids used your body as a bounce house, every turn, slight adjustment, any itty bitty movement create vibrations of pain in your whole body. yeah. Now lets move onto the chest and nasal congestion. First the cold, yeah you sneeze, have a running nose, or cough a little, definately not fun, but its not the flu. When you have the flu, your face feel like its the size of a balloon, but not a fun balloon, you feel like someone is inside your head practicing boxing with your eyeballs, when you cough, it actually vibrates your whole body and your balloon head feels like it just grew two sizes. When you have a cold, you just don't feel well, but you take some medicine and go about your day. When you have the flu all you can think about is lying in bed, not moving, no sound, no motion, no anything, just laying in bed and repeating the mantra "this is not forever, this will end".
Now dont get me wrong, I don't like colds and I know they can make you feel crappy, but please don't come see me with a slight cough, a small sniffle and tell me how much you hate having the flu, because you know what, I might just have to sneeze on you and share this experience known as "the Flu"